New Facts Reveal Hot TA Not Totally Into College Freshman

February 23, 2018

Around campus, male freshman students and some female freshman were shocked when the new study by the Psychology Department was published last week. In the study it was revealed that the hot teaching assistant, or TA, was in fact NOT into her freshman students. Confusion broke out immediately.


“She laughed at my joke in lab, I thought it was a done deal!” said a freshman biology major,


“She wore a long sleeve sweater to class, she knows that’s my type!” said a bewildered young hipster-type.


Yet the facts were in. Despite the encouraging notes left in the margins of the student’s assignments and that time she made prolonged eye contact during quiz section, the study found that she in fact was not into the 18-yr old who recommended his favorite band (Radiohead) for her to listen to based on her playlist during class.  


Attendance in quiz sections and labs that she led did NOT experience a drop in attendance, contrary to popular belief, for the freshman still wanted to show up to imagine their lives together with the now probably-not, but just-maybe, attainable 24 year-old.


“While the fantasies of having the taboo relationship with one’s TA took a big hit recently, there is hope for the future, the second hottest TA is probably still single. I bet she’s into me”, said another freshman business major. He continued, “you know, she leaned over my desk to grab a pen the other day. Also when I arrived for office hours, her ponytail was down” as he nudged me with his elbow.


Despite the obviously sexual nature of all these encounters, in the two years that she has been a teaching assistant, no one has noticed the ring on her left hand...



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