Emotional Support Dog Denies Holocaust

April 24, 2018


A “Europe and the Modern World” class had to end early this week, as one student’s emotional support dog could not be silenced when Professor George Behlmer began the class’ Holocaust unit. Attempts to calm the dog down only further provoked it’s deep-seated anti-Semitism, making covering the topic impossible.


“I don’t see any way around it”, Professor Behlmer told students, “I can’t take away the student’s support animal -- that’d be a violation of their basic human rights”. In response, he has chosen the only reasonable course of action available: completely dropping any reference of the Holocaust from the curriculum.


The University has applauded this handling of the situation, understanding the teaching of history to be a sensitive subject.


“Part of me feels bad because students are missing out on a very important subject”, said the professor, “and the other part knows that I’m just supporting the dog’s backwards agenda… but ultimately, it’s about the students”.


The student has expressed concern over how the bigoted canine will react to future courses she’s planning: Comparative Race and Ethnic Relations, African-American Political and Social Thought, and Introduction to Transgender Studies.


She hopes that these instructors will have similar levels of sensitivity and tolerance in adapting their courses to not upset the cute little guy.


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