Opinion: UW’s Double Door Systems Are Killing Chivalry

May 16, 2018



As a cultured and well-mannered member of 21st century America, I am keenly aware of the death of chivalry as we know it. There are a select few times in which I can so clearly identify those responsible.


This is one of those times.


It happens everyday among the hapless and disheveled youth at this very institution. Two members of the opposite sex walking out of a hall. As they near the exit, whether or not there exists even the slightest romantic potential between the two, the male is suddenly overwhelmed by instinct, conviction, and most of all: duty.


Perhaps it is his parents’ voices wisely echoing in his head; perhaps it was the many times he had to read Shakespeare in high school; perhaps it descends from some basic primal urge evolved long before written history, when male neanderthals returned to their caves, bestowing pelts of sabretooth tigers upon the women. No matter the reason behind it, the man feels compelled to open the door.


“Thank you”, says the female walking-companion. Confidently striding through the now-agape door, the two are suddenly face-to-face with what could be the greatest architectural blunder of all time.


Another door.


Making a total of two doors-- TWO DOORS. The male descends into desperate panic,  overwhelmed by the failure of his singular door-holding, as he watches the woman forced to open the second door for herself.


And it is in this second, in this singular moment of time, that our University puts another nail in the coffin of modern chivalry.


So I implore you, do not blame the youth for its untimely demise. True blame lies in the ignorance and short-sightedness of those that created these supposedly forward-thinking and innovative halls.


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