8 Fall Activities That Distract You From The Fact You Have Nobody To Do Them With

October 22, 2019




1. Pumpkin Patch - Nothing says fall time like these round orange gourds. If you have an instagram, you know just how integral this activity is for a fall experience. Going to a pumpkin patch is a great way to forget about how the bus to Snohomish is 30 minutes long and you’re alone listening to Whitney looking out the window. You can still get that iconic photo of you with your pumpkin though! Skip, the farmer, will take that photo as you smile in denial of the fact you just wandered for over an hour looking at pumpkins that are just different enough that you had the illusion of choice.


2. Corn Maze - For the adventurous, these winding labyrinths of corn offer a great way to spend an afternoon figuring out how to escape the maze instead of solving the more elusive puzzle of how you are in your 20’s and have never done this with another. Getting lost is part of the fun, and with absolutely no one with you, you are in control. Your path is solely dictated by your own actions, actions which have resulted in you shivering alone in a field of corn. 


3. Shop for Costumes - Now this should be obvious! With Halloween coming up, it is a great idea to go a costume store and pick out a funny or spooky costume to wear on the 31st. Everyone wants to be original on Halloween so going as an iconic duo is always a hit. Because you are utterly alone, it would be an even better idea to go as an iconic duo who lost one member and is alone. Just go as Thing 1 from Cat in the Hat! Or you could be Watson who’s Sherlock had things to do today and this quarter has been hectic so they can’t spend any time with Watson. Or be a single pea in a pod! The list goes on!


4. Haunted House - Spooky! Haunted houses are a staple of the Halloween season! As you wind around the corners, the jump scares raise the hair on your neck. You feel a cold sweat and a rush of adrenaline runs down your spine. You reach out to hold someone’s hand for comfort. Nobody is there, adding to the experience. Then you can take the scares home, wondering if some monster or ghoul will attack you late in the night as nobody will hear your screams because, once again, you are lying awake in an empty house.


5. Jump in Pile of Raked Leaves - Like straight out of a hallmark movie, this whimsical activity is a literal way to envelope yourself in fall cheer. Sure you raked the leaves yourself while chain-smoking cigarettes but passersby probably thought you had a kid or something. But now is the moment of truth! After launching yourself into the pile, let the leaves take you in like someone taking you into their arms, but these are dead, moist arms. As you sink to the bottom, say hello to any slugs you encounter, knowing it will take them at least 30 minutes to leave your side. 


6. Walk through the Arboretum - Nothing quite says fall like a calm, meditative walk, and gazing as the leaves change color and gently litter your path as you go. The Arboretum can be a great place to be alone, but not the usual kind ya’ know? It’s a special place this time of year where you can really hear your own thoughts and not have to worry about why you’re alone -- so alone -- oh god, how am I so alone… 


7. Go to Freaknight - Perfect! Can’t hear yourself think here! WOOOH! Loud music! Everybody’s so into each other I can feel their energies in my bones. Oh. No. That was for the guy behind me. I guess they all came in groups and probably know each other pretty well. BWAAAH, Yay, loud music!


8. Chug Hard Apple Cider - Like the rest of the year, but with autumn flavors.

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