The University of Washington is seriously considering taking down its George Washington statue after a vintage sex tape was leaked starring former President Washington and his 18-year-old Tinder date. The tape shocked the millions who have already seen it and although it is far from the sexiest presidential scandal, this one hits UW closest to home.

University Provost Mark Richards addressed the tape, “The actions and morals displayed in the video are not that of the University. As for the statue, we will investigate further and reach a decision at a later time.” Richards declined to answer if he had watched the whole video and how many times.

The contents of the video were especially disturbing for some, not only because of the poor camera angles focusing way too much on Washington’s old white ass, but also because of the dialogue that was shared between the two lovers.

In the video, the 18 year old Tinder date can be heard saying, “Yeah, give me that Monticello dick!” and “I’m a loyalist, I guess you have to punish me General Washington.” The former president did not say much in response.

This scandal is coming after years of student dissatisfaction with the university for keeping the statue of Washington, a slave owner, on campus. When asked to comment on the Washington issue, sophomore and huge Derek Waters fan, Sophie Valeria said, “I just think if UW is supposed to be this diverse place full of open mindedness and truth about the past, we can’t have a slave owner represented as a God on our campus. We don’t want to have to look up at that everyday.” 

When we clarified that we were referring to the sex tape issue, Valeria replied, “Oh I thought that was really funny. Did you see his ass?” We did.

The university donors and leaders, who have been persistent in keeping the statue up will now seriously consider taking it down. They want to make it clear, however, that it’s not because of “all the slave stuff” and “the students didn’t win.” It’s because sex is now involved.

The video can be found on all of your favorite porn streaming sites.