AR is actively looking to join a coven. She also draws for the magazine. Please contact her immediately if you find yourself attracted to witchy women because she needs another unreliable bitch boy to waste her time. She also has a personality and is a human being capable of joy and great compassion.

BJ is NOT what you’re thinking about, you freak. He is a suburbanite pretending to be from the country for clout in the big city. He also got a really good ACT score if you even care. Please send loose beers from Trader Joe’s at your earliest convenience. Please.

Imagine straight Freddie Mercury as a cool cowboy type that really likes Annie’s Mac and Cheese. That’s basically me. I like baseball but also think free universal healthcare is overrated. Take care of yourself and grow your own food like a normal person. I don’t grow my own food. My life dream is to be like Ernest Hemingway, except for the debilitating alcoholism and suicide, I already have those.

JD got lost a few years ago in Target when she dropped her mom’s hand. Last she was seen was near the green beans. Also she’s like if a powerful woman was a girl.

Off Leash’s lil’ darlin’. NS doesn’t need your pity, she gets enough of that at your mom’s house. 3’4” if that matters. Often referred to as “Ruth Bader Ginsburg, if she was, like, hot.”

Briaaaaaaan. That’s all

IB’s head is currently wrapped in packing tape in a last ditch effort to keep his ears attached. He enjoys making potions from the various liquids in your bathroom and saying “oh I knew that” whenever you try to tell him something cool you learned.

A.S. is not your average woman. In fact, before time began, there was the Cube. We know not where it comes from, only that it holds the power to create worlds and fill them with life. That is how our race was born. For a time, we lived in harmony. But like all great power, some wanted it for good, others for evil. And so began the war. A war that ravaged our planet until it was consumed by death, and the Cube was lost to the far reaches of space. We scattered across the galaxy, hoping to find it and rebuild our home. Searching every star, every world. And just when all hope seemed lost, message of a new discovery drew us to an unknown planet called... Earth.

AM is aaaughghhhhhhh, AM is aaaaAAAAGGgghhHHHH they’re gggGGuuuuUGHHHAAAAAHHHHhhhhh… AM’s aaHHHHHHhhhhhhkkkkgguunnhhhgggAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaauuhhhhh but in a sexy and cool way. 

CH is not a lesbian guys! Stop asking. But she also wants to know if you guys can have a sleepover next Saturday her mom can drop her off if your mom can drive her home (girls only).

JZ is a ladies man, businessman, and all around THE man. He frequents libraries where he likes to chain smoke cigarettes and use the computer for free. He acquired most of his wealth through the creation of his NFT, JZT. His favorite rapper is eminem and he will not hesitate to freestyle after half a beer.

LI has a resting heart rate of 140 bpm and has been referred to by former U.S. President Bill Clinton as “America’s Sweetheart.” Sometimes she commits sins so grand that Jesus Christ himself wonders if he did enough for humanity, but it’s okay because she has a hall pass.

MB no longer remembers the rain, the Alamo, or any other important thing. Conversation is pointless, as there’s that white fuzz from pill bottles where her brain should be. Despite never having a single intelligent thought, she is wanted in 37 island nations. Wanted by 37 cunt-ries, but not a single girl. Damn.

Are there girls reading this? Hi girls glad to have you onboard : - )

I'm just a bad girl trying to be good