Quarterly Print Issues
Off Leash is so much more than the news! As our team has grown we have expanded to quarterly print issues. Our magazines all contain creative pieces that go beyond traditional online articles: quizzes, cartoons, fake advertising, letters, personal anecdotes, and so much more. Pickup an available copy during our tabling sessions, every Friday from 11-3 on in the quad. Check our instagram to see when we release a new issue!
Issue 10: Annals of History
You can spend a small fortune to get an undergraduate degree in history like me, or just read our History magazine. They both have equal outcomes — you get a piece of paper with print on it that makes you question your decisions. At least with our magazine there’s a 0.5% chance it will become a collectors item and be worth 500, maybe even 1000 cents in the future. Even better, this magazine basically says anal on the cover. Are you not sold?
[IN STOCK AND FRESH OFF THE PRESS]
Issue 9: After Dark
Sometimes the dark can be scary, sometimes the dark can be sexy, sometimes it can be both. These are the only two options for the dark. Our 9th Issue covers topics ranging from microwave popcorn to the butler from “Downton Abbey.” Enter a world of nighttime where the only thing that matters is you keep your wits and not your pants.
[IN STOCK]
Issue 8: Sells Out
It’s never been about the money for us. I’m sure this is shocking, considering how much money there is in the small-time satirical magazine business. But it turns out that you can’t print a magazine or gay frog stickers with out those sweet, sweet greenbacks. Also, I cannot afford a full meal. I have eaten nothing but oats for every meal for weeks. So the decision to sell out was a pretty easy one. Because fortunately, everything is improved by capitalism, like magazines, Latin American governments, and the quality of my oats.
[IN STOCK]
Issue 7: REBOOT
After a pandemic, a newly elected non matriarchal leadership team, and the crushing realization that nobody actually reads and just buys our magazine because ha-ha funny picture, we needed a break. After a failed rap album, a horse costume ketamine debacle, and a lifetime exile from Canada, we decided that maybe satire really was our true calling. That maybe, just maybe, we should give it one final shot. So we did. And after putting blood, sweat, and tears into the creation of this magazine, we can now say with absolute certainty, that satire is not for us. But hey, at least it’s still got some funny pictures in it.
[IN STOCK]
Issue 6: Sex, Drugs & Rock n’ Roll
Sex, Drugs & Rock n’ Roll is Offleash’s most wholesome magazine yet. Our writers were especially passionate about the sexual aspect of this publication, as it is the only part of the title they are completely deprived of. Each copy comes with a tab of acid stapled into the front cover.
[SOLD OUT]
Issue 5: Conspiracy
The Conspiracy Issue is by far Offleash’s most mysterious publication. Read articles about made-up urban legends such as Bigfoot, Nessie, and Charles Darwin. Explore a special “choose your own adventure” series. Note: the “choose your own adventure” article automatically assumes that you, the reader are capable of possessing free will. Lastly, to further promote this issue I will now list the United State’s nuclear codes: [REDACTED], [REDACTED], 80085.
[SOLD OUT, OR IS IT?]
Issue 4 & 1/2: The Quarantine Diaries
Offleash’s first fully online publication! Click the link to check it out yourself.
Issue 4: This is Not Compostable
All too often do we hear complaints about bringing Off Leash online, and curbing our use of paper altogether. So with that in mind we are happy to announce our sustainability issue. Watch us tackle the exact unsustainable behaviors and beliefs that might also be fueling our drive to print these jokes on these oh-so-beautiful, yet-oh-so-wasteful magazines (our heads say no, but our hearts say YES). Get yours today for environmentally-friendly pieces like, “4 Things I’m Sorry I Threw in the Ocean”, “Your Drugs Aren't Sustainable”, “Climate Scientists: ‘Earth’s Got Like 2-3 Years TOPS and it’s All Women’s Fault’”, “I’m Sorry I Ate Your Uncle: Confessions of a Teenage Vegan”, and so many more!
[SOLD OUT]
Issue 3: The Commitment Issue
Join us as we take a deep dive into analyzing everything from committing to a relationship, college commitments, being committed into medical hospital, and our own lack of commitment towards a timely release of our third issue! It includes such pieces as, “True Perseverance: Group Project Complete With Only One Casualty”, “How to Win Grades and Influence Professors”, “Students Rally Together for Newest Community Support Group: ‘My Ex is a Republican’”, and “Guest Speaker Hasn’t Left Yet”.
[SOLD OUT]
Issue 2: The Free Speech Issue
Never before has this school seen such unrepentant, offensive, and outright nonsensical writing as this: “Five Controversial Political Commentators Ranked by Bangability”, “Your Opinion is Wrong and I Hate You, Please F*ck Me”, “Suppressed Fart Demands to be Heard”, and so many more.
[SOLD OUT]
Issue 1: This is Our First Issue
A piece of our collective history: the first edition of this school’s first ever satirical magazine. Including pieces like, “A Visitor’s Guide to Suzzallo Starbucks”, “7 Ways to Meet a Boundless Boy”, “UW to Instill House System like Hogwarts But There is Another One and it is Called Flipperton”, and “What to do When you Find Yourself on the Seventh Plane of Existence as a Limbless Triangle”.
[SOLD OUT]