The U-District Light Rail Station opened last year, helping improve and expand upon Seattle’s vital public transit system. But the most important feature of the newest light rail station are the ZANY LED WINDOWS that are plastered all over the station for some reason. We decided to compile a list to tell YOU what windows you should be looking at to get the most out of waiting for the next overcrowded train!

1. Will you get into the computer science major? - This is the window that you’ll see first as you take the escalator down. If it's red, sorry, it looks like you're doing informatics instead. If it's green, you might be colorblind and we wish you good luck in the informatics department.

2. Is ketamine really so bad? - You’ll see this window straight ahead from the middle platform connecting the stairs. If you see a horse galloping in a field, free and unburdened by the modern idea of “having a job”, then everlasting joy awaits you. If you see a bottle of glue instead, I would suggest a simple huffing regimen instead until you take your ass to the stable.

3. Why did your parents get divorced? - Look up at the blank window on the right side of the escalator. Unlike the rest of these revelations this one will show up right away. Don’t turn away. You might not like what you see, but it's about time you took some responsibility.

4. Are you the reincarnation of Princess Diana? - This one is a little more subtle but oh so worth it to quell any doubts you have in your heart. Stare into the tunnels where the trains emerge, it doesn’t matter which one. Do you yearn for the tunnel? Is it familiar yet lonely? Do you feel such regret, frustration, and anger? Most people won’t see anything besides the lights of the train, but a select few may see a window with a faint baby blue haze. If you are so blessed, well all we can say is welcome home milady and maybe rethink that summer trip to Paris. 

5. Will your future wife have brown or blonde hair? - Look at the window on the left side of the elevator. If there's a woman with brown hair, congrats stud your wifey is a brunette sex goddess. If she’s blonde, you’re about to marry the blonde, barefoot tradwife of your dream you lucky fella! Sometimes a man will appear instead? I don’t really know what that one means to be frank. Although his shoulders are so broad and his hands are so big… best not to overthink it!

Alrighty that’s all we have to share today! We hope that you’ve learned more about the U-District station but more importantly, that you’ve learned more about yourself.