Since he was a child, junior Justin Schwartz dreamed of becoming an artist. When he arrived at the University of Washington, he had no doubt that he wanted to study painting and drawing, but this hope was derailed when he received a 0.8 in Art 190.

“It’s crazy because it’s very common to draw nude models in art class,” Schwartz said, “but apparently it was somehow wrong that I chose to use my own manhood as a model for every assignment.”

News broke this September that the Class of 2022 is the largest ever to enter the UW, prompting criticism from returning students who feared it would become even more difficult to get into competitive majors.

In response to student concerns, President Ana Marie Cauce held a press conference in which she outlined her proposed solution for improving the capacity-constrained major system.

“I fully understand why students feel frustrated and it’s clear that going forward, we need to decrease the size of our student body,” Cauce said. “That’s why I plan to work with the Board of Regents and ASUW to instigate an annual Husky Purge.”

Drawing inspiration by the 2013 movie The Purge and its sequels, the plan calls for one night a year where both laws and university policy would go unenforced on campus.

In response to student concerns about staggering tuition, rising housing rates, and capacity-constrained majors, the UW Board of Regents has voted to implement a cost-saving initiative for the 2018-2019 school year that will replace the single-ply toilet paper with half-ply rolls in every building on campus.

“We care deeply about affordability and opportunity for our students,” said Anna Durkan, regent in charge of bathroom-affairs. “In order to cut costs, we’ve done an extensive analysis of how we spend our money and worked to eliminate waste. When we realized how much of the budget was going to fund single-ply toilet paper, we realized we had to make a change.”

In the aftermath of the vote, reactions from students were largely positive.