UW Professor Suspended After Showing Pornography in Lecture
LE
This week, UW Professor Robert Grace was removed from his lecturing position after accidentally showing pornography. He was apparently viewing the material before class and failed to close his tabs as the lecture began. The pornography was displayed as the professor tried to open a separate video on racial discrimination in the US prison system. We interviewed several students to get their thoughts on the matter.
“I’m pretty sure I spotted Grace somewhere in that orgy,” said senior Abe Malek. “He was wearing the same tie he had on in lecture and he even had little nametags clipped on his nipples.” As the reputable publication that we are, we wanted to investigate further before reporting on an unconfirmed rumor. We were able to find a 4.0 student from an earlier quarter who identified the penis as belonging to Professor Grace. The student chose to remain anonymous.
French foreign exchange student Florian LeBlais was surprisingly appreciative of the incident. “Honestly I was happy to see some people of color in there. Recently, PornHub has really been shifting its focus to please an all-white, sister-fucking audience. It’s good to see some resistance with him jerking off to a good ol’ fashioned multicultural fuckfest. He’s really setting an example by showing his support for us.” LeBlais returned to her group who was protesting against Grace’s suspension by chanting, “BBC for all to see! Give me Love! Give me D!”
Some thought that it was an effective teaching method. Bart Stewart felt that he was able to draw more conclusions out of the video than he was in the average lecture. “If you really analyze the footage you can see how the white guy is receiving double-tongue-shaft action while the black guy is only being pleasured by a simple handjob. I found it served as a great example of benefit inequalities towards minorities, I’ll definitely be mentioning this in my term paper.”
It’s uncertain, however, whether Bart will have the chance to turn in that paper. The disgraced professor Grace was taken to the UW jail, where he will reside until his trial next week (though his twitter trial, however, is already underway). Interestingly, student animosity against police has caused a serious lack in funding and no UW jail cell has yet been built. UWPD was left to improvise and chose to make Grace room in McMahon Hall in order to simulate the anxiety-inducing conditions of a traditional cell. Two of Grace’s roommates have yet to comment, though his third, Aiden Cross, did note that, “The quiet sobbing in the background was kinda dampening the mood of my twitch stream.”
A mixed bag of opinions for sure. We’ll continue to report on this story as it reaches its climax, as there is surely much more to come.