Student Satisfaction Soars to 8% After UW Returns to In-Person Classes

J.B.

We are living in truly unprecedented times.

In a recent poll conducted by the Department of Statistics, student satisfaction soared to 8% after sitting comfortably at 2% since COVID-19 hit campus (Note: 2% margin of error). The University of Washington has returned to in-person classes after a year and a half of online school, and students are happier than ever. Awkwardly avoiding eye contact with strangers on the street has returned, friends that weren’t quite close enough to ignore social distancing guidelines have reunited, and professors’ endlessly recycled jokes have been totally killing it.

In general, students are getting their groove back. As put by Junior Freshman Sr., a Sophomore Civil Engineering student: “I mean, I still can’t get into any of the classes I need for my major, find a chair anywhere on campus, or feel safe at night...but not constantly wallowing in my own self-pity alone in my apartment every day has been kind of nice.”

In a school-wide email, Ana Mari Cauce addressed the increase in student support: “We haven’t addressed the vast laundry list of problems students have had with the university outside of implementing policies to combat coronavirus. However, you guys can come back to campus, which is really exciting! Additionally, we won’t be refunding any of the full-price tuition we charged for online school, but if I can make over a million dollars a year I’m sure you guys can figure it out financially. Oh, and we’re raising tuition again.”