It’s fall. It’s beginning to rain. The temperature’s starting to get just cold enough that you’ll need a thin jacket while walking to your classes, but you’ll be slightly damp and sticky while sitting in your 300-person lectures. You’re always woken up at 6:30 in the morning from construction. You know it, you love it—It’s summer internship application season.

If you’ve ever wanted to see how Senator Romney loosens up during his visits to Miami, or what Representative Boebert wishes she wore while at the movie theater, you’re in luck.

Spring has sprung in the University of Washington, which means that it’s going to start raining only six out of the seven days of the week, as opposed to eight. But with the oncoming of clearer skies and sunnier days, so does the onslaught of—you know them, you love them—tourists.

I’m probably not going to get canceled for this because I’m a STEM major, and STEM majors are always right… except during the release of the ugliest vehicle ever (which we can all unanimously agree is the Cybertruck.) Or the whole Neuralink idea. Or when one fumbled Grimes after naming their son after a G1 Transformers sound effect. Or how Twitter’s title was changed to something you’d probably expect on 18+ sites, or one of those discord servers. You know what I’m talking about.

As Thanksgiving looms closer and closer, so do the death dates of turkeys across the United States. Yet, every year one of the fortunate fowl is spared the grisly fate of its body being desecrated by a high school “Turkey Bowl game through the form of a presidential pardon.