Greek life has been a longstanding pillar of UW’s campus experience: they provide a sense of community for students who have generational wealth and unlimited Zyn budgets, and they separate the cool kids from the geeds. Yet in recent years, Greek life all over the country has come under fire for abusive hazing rituals like consuming dangerous amounts of alcohol and even bodily harm. And now the beast of hazing is, once again, rearing its ugly head on the UW campus. 

October 31st has historically been the date of Halloween, a holiday marked by wearing costumes to school and going door to door with your friends asking for candy. For college students, it means getting as drunk as you possibly can on a Tuesday and throwing up into a pumpkin. It can be difficult to find the line between real Halloween and Halloweekend, which is why first-year Brandon Vang ended up being the only one wearing a costume in his October 31st lecture.

Saturday, October 20 and Sunday, October 21 marked another year of UW’s annual Family Weekend. Thousands of parents flocked to campus to observe what their children do in their own environment, much like children flock to the monkey exhibit at the zoo to watch them throw feces at each other. Yet instead of throwing shit, these parents watch their children get belligerently drunk at frat BBQs before inevitably leaving a football game halfway through the second quarter.

A study by degreechoices.com ranked UW as America’s 26th most dangerous college campus, to the dismay of many UW students. It states there were 80 violent crimes committed on campus between 2019 and 2021, including murder, aggravated assault, and robbery. With students returning to campus for the start of fall quarter, this news hits the heart of the student community. 

Your eyes flutter open, wandering around the room and landing on the sunbeam warming your deep purple comforter. Sighing, you look at the ceiling. It’s another day of your roommate, who is also your mom, smoking crack and cigarettes while she yells at you. One thing brings you comfort though. Your poster of Pepsi’s CEO, Ramon Laguarta, hanging right above your HFS emergency exit route sign on the door, gives you a feeling of hope.

Dear Shonda Rhimes,

I like many things. I like warm days, chocolate croissants, and when cats know how to open doors. I like laughing, giggling, womanhood, and doing nothing at all. What I don’t like, however, is Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story.