Guy in Your Quiz Section Playing Mobile Games You’ve Never Seen Before
It’s hard getting through the endless slog of classes towards the end of the quarter. Now that the sun is shining, you can see people well enough in your day-to-day life to kick your lecture crushes into the back of your mind. Ode smells bad, and your TA is looking for casual ways to bring up Hazbin Hotel. It is not as bleak as the winter, but you’re not home free yet.
Continuing in the endless drag of the Spring quarter, you’ve been paired with a student you’ve never seen before in your quiz section. He seems pretty normal, you guess. You call your TA over to ask a question about the content when he pulls out his phone behind his computer. You notice this with humble objectivity; you average 14 hours a day on TikTok and frankly have no room to judge. A doomscroller during a quiz section barely registers to you.
After a while, you look over again and can see he is playing a game. Now, it’s important to note that you consider yourself a “Gacha Gamer.” You played Bandori in high school, you mained Beidou in Genshin back in the day, and you’re still actively playing the anime horse girl game. You’ve been around the block a few times, and you still keep up with the culture.
His screen is completely foreign.
It’s fantasygoonerslop, you can tell that much. The game was probably cranked out of the industrial harem open world meat grinder pretty recently. And yet, the more you watch, the more perplexed you are.
For one, the character he’s playing is weird. She appears to be some kind of cat-cyborg with missing legs and three boobs, and she attacks using a laser beam shot from her vagina. Also, the attack sequences just make no sense whatsoever. He’s moving monkeys up and down train tracks and there are numbers that pop up after every animation.
You leave class feeling dazed. All your research attempts provide no results. You tried to google ‘vag-beam game’ and all you got was put on a list. It just doesn’t make any sense.
One week later, you return to quiz section. It was fine until you saw him pull out his phone again. This time, all the text was in Japanese. You eye him suspiciously. The chance that he speaks Japanese is probably pretty close to the age of the women he’s attracted to.
He keeps clicking through the game anyway despite your visible disgust. Then he does something fully egregious. A cutscene begins, and he lifts the phone up, high above his head, and turns on the volume.
Have we no shame? Are we not afraid anymore? Do you think the Breath of the Wild devs stay in heaven for fear of what they created?
It’s unconscionable. It consumes you. Genuinely, what is he even doing? Finally, after endless deliberation, you decide to ask him. He says this:
“The game I play? Oh, do you mean my startup? Yeah, I had to code a game for a different comp sci class, and I decided to vibe code it into a full product. It’s pretty good, right? I bought the yearly plan for Claude–”
Maybe you should pick up a book, or something.