Opinion: You Should Feed the Rats

You should feed the rats. You should feed them Spicy Tofu Banh Mi from District Market Alder. Have you seen the rats on campus? They’re so sweet and hungry-looking. You should feed them Spicy Tofu Banh Mi from District Market Alder. Of course you should. Feeding wild animals is great. I love poking my little snout inside the bread of Spicy Tofu Banh Mi from District Market Alder and taking a big ol’ bite of tofu—I mean, I expect the rats will love doing that! I’m not a rat! Of course I’m not a rat! 

But my friend (who is a rat) says that Spicy Tofu Banh Mi from District Market Alder is delicious. You should buy Spicy Tofu Banh Mi from District Market Alder and give it to my rat friend. The scrumptious spicy mayo and jalapeño combo delights the whiskers and makes the tail twitch. It is a commonly accepted fact that Spicy Tofu Banh Mi from District Market Alder is delicious, and sweet little rats would love to eat it.

University of Washington President Robert J. Jones agrees with the fact that Spicy Tofu Banh Mi from District Market Alder is delicious and good food for the rats on the street outside Local Point. Former University of Washington President Ana Mari Cauce agrees with the indisputable fact that darling baby rats love Spicy Tofu Banh Mi from District Market Alder, and that you should buy it just for them. While you're at it, pet the rats on their little heads and scratch under their chins. They love it, trust me. They also love Spicy Tofu Banh Mi from District Market Alder. They might bite you, and that's okay. That's part of life. They’re just doing their best! Maybe you taste like Spicy Tofu Banh Mi from District Market Alder.