UW’s Spring Quarter Curriculum to Include Intro to Wasian Studies
As we all know, Wasians are seeing a massive cultural uprising in recent times. There are new Wasians popping up seemingly everyday, including prominent figures such as Olympic gold medalist Alyssa Liu, Heated Rivalry breakout star Hudson Williams, and Valorant players all across the nation. With this, hoards of white men have finally shifted from their controversial asian fetishes to brand-new, progressive Wasian fetishes.
This has created a brand new cultural movement sure to change society as we know it, and the University of Washington has decided to spearhead this movement by introducing a brand new major, Wasian Studies.
Students can begin taking these courses starting Spring quarter. Courses include, Intro to Wasian History, Wasian Literature, and How to obtain a Filipina Wife.
Those enrolled in these courses can expect to learn all about the vast history and culture of Wasians in America. Topics such as the banana metaphor, the infamous “Oxford Study,” and even the rare occurrence of “white mom, asian dad” are just some of the topics expected to be studied. Many important texts are to be reviewed as well, with a required reading list of classics such as, “The Summer I Turned Pretty” and “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before.”
This new curriculum has not been without backlash, of course. Ask any Asian male on the Ave, and they are sure to begin unpromptedly ranting about the aforementioned “oxford study,” a study which shows that Asian women are overwhelmingly likely to date “medium-ugly white guys.” Many critics of these new courses have used this study as ammunition against the foundation of these studies.
Sarah Tran, an upcoming student in Wasian studies, had this to say when asked if she believed in the Oxford Study. “The ‘Oxford Study’ can’t be any further from the truth! For example my type is tall brown hair, blue eyes, golden retriever boys.”
Justin Lin, a member of Lambda Phi Epsilon, was less enthusiastic.“...FUCK MAN! FUCK THE OXFORD STUDY! I CAN’T BELIEVE BEABADOOBEE IS DATING A WHITE GUY!”
Despite the backlash, head of the department Dr. Johnson Smith had this to say. “I deeply understand the backlash present in our community. As a father to two beautiful Wasian children with my Filipina wife, I just want to educate the world on the struggles the Wasian community faces, and our faculty at the department of Wasian studies are ready to persevere through it. We are very excited for you all to learn about this vast culture. Be sure to keep an eye out for our study abroad trip to the bay area this summer!”