"Yaoi" Dominates Family Discussion During Holidays

Upon returning home for the winter holidays, UW student Shembert O’Malley made the tragic mistake of jokingly referencing yaoi at the dinner table.

After Shembert’s refusal to answer questions like “what's yaoi?” and “are you learning Japanese?” and “why are you trying to hide under the table?” Shembert’s grandmother found the answers when she discovered yaoi.fandom.com. 

I spoke with Shembert, who told me, “I was mortified. At first, I thought Grandma was going to be really upset with me, but she just kept clicking on links. She got, like, really into it.” According to Shembert, the yaoi fandom didn’t stop with Grandma. Her father, brother, and aunt all discovered a love for the art form around their Christmas tree.

The only O’Malley who did not become enthralled with yaoi was Shembert’s mother, Maryanne. “My mom and I had to leave the house, the hoopla was just too much. We ended up eating our dinner at a Long John Silvers. My mom couldn’t stop crying while eating her popcorn shrimp,” said Shambert.

I got the opportunity to speak with Maryanne, who seemed to still be shaken by the incident. She said, “I love my daughter, I really do, but she’s destroyed our family by introducing this to us, and I don’t know if I can forgive her. My husband is locked in his office all day reading this stuff. He doesn't go to work anymore, my 85-year-old mother and my sister kept trying to tell me about something called ‘the omegaverse,’ and Shembert’s brother is so busy with visual novels he won’t even build a snowman."

The real tragedy of this whole affair is that Shembert isn't even a yaoi fan herself. “I just think the word is funny,” she admitted.