They broke your heart, and you never want to love again. Or have sex. Isn’t it fair you do the same thing to them? Hall Health certainly thinks so. That’s why they’ve rolled out a Sex-No-More program that will ensure you can rest easy this Valentine’s Day.
Read MoreThe Kansas City Chiefs once again captured the Lombardi Trophy on Sunday night, beating the San Francisco 49ers in a stunning overtime victory. Celebrations were halted, however, when league officials released a statement a few hours later saying their win was to be investigated on account of the entire Chiefs team, including head coach Andy Reid, using performance enhancing drugs.
Read MoreOn January 7th, the UW community received a hilarious email detailing a new anti-hazing program for all three campuses. What many thought to be a joke turned out to be a serious attempt at eliminating hazing from the university. Students were told to complete a course, titled, “Hazing Prevention 101 – College Edition,” which up to this point only 0.12% of the student body has completed.
Read MoreBuckingham Palace put out a statement Monday, February 5th, detailing that current British monarch, King Charles, has been diagnosed with cancer. But it’s super unrelated to the big butt problem he had a few weeks ago where his prostate, which is located in the butt, got really big. Don’t worry.
Read MoreGreat news is here for all former 8 year old girls. With the completion of the IMA Pool, the UW Rec Clubs program will be offering a new water sport as of Spring 2024: mermaids.
Read MoreOn Monday, the Safeway located at the intersection of Brooklyn Ave and NE 50th Street announced that they would be enforcing a dress code for all customers, effective immediately. Officials at the store stated that the dress code will be strictly enforced and that any customer who did not adhere to the code would not be allowed to shop at the establishment.
Read MoreEarlier this week, Off Leash news got a chance to speak with Darron Barenett, a concerned student hoping to publicize a struggle he’s facing at the University of Washington. Darron is a music major set to graduate at the end of this year, but he expresses worries that the university has not fulfilled a key aspect of his education: a proper examination of ska music and its history.
Read MoreLook! There’s that cute person in your quiz section you noticed the first day of class. You’ve caught their eye a few times and maybe they smiled. One day they ask you how you are, your name, or how you felt about the homework. Before you know it you’re making regular small talk. Everything is going perfectly.
Read MoreA freak accident involving Dubs II left five people injured and two dead on Wednesday morning. The incident occurred during a photo collab between the UW’s mascot and Starbucks Coffee near Drumheller Fountain. Dubs had been licking a double shot of espresso out of an eco-friendly container when a group of students rushed forward to try and pet him, causing him to lash out. All three victims were rushed to the hospital, and two have since died from their injuries.
Read MoreA silent wave of bigotry has been spreading like wildfire amongst students at the University of Washington, and no one is talking about it. Roommates of all shapes and sizes whisper evil words to one another, and have banded together against a group of people- my people, the hairy ones.
Read MoreIn a shocking press conference Wednesday night, Ana Mari Cauce revealed a mysterious illness has been sweeping through campus following the devastating loss in the National Championship game on Monday. While some students reported symptoms the morning of the 8th, there was a clear spike in cases the morning of the 9th.
Read MoreAfter coming up short in the National Championship game to Michigan, many students have been wondering if they should kill themselves. Michael Penix might. Following the game last night, Michael Penix posted on Twitter that “the league was not gonna come knocking” and that he needed to “get his shit together.” As a thank you for the incredible season he gave us, I reached out to Penix via direct message and offered to tutor him for the remainder of his 6th year in college. After spending the past week with him, here’s what I learned.
Read MoreIt’s Christmas time, and you know what that means! It’s also Hanukkah, and you already forgot about it. Hey, I forgot too, why do you think this article is a day late? I get it, it’s easy to get wrapped up in all of the excitement of the holiday season, and forget Christmas’s indie little brother. Even if you forgot to wish your Jewish friends a happy first night, that's ok! There’s still seven left and we’re happy to be validated alongside your clearly more mainstream holiday.
Read MoreI’d like to extend my official congratulations to the Husky football team for beating Oregon not just once, but twice this year. And for winning the championship or whatever. Better to lose to an SEC school where the players will have to face hordes of gun owners if they lose. This win is monumental for the history of the program, marking our first ever 13-0 season, but also for the community as UTI medication flies off those pharmacy shelves to aid those who jumped into Drumheller.
Read MoreUW’s Dean of Undergraduate Academic Affairs, Edward Taylor, announced last Tuesday that there would be changes coming to the general education requirements needed to graduate. Taylor specified that the English Composition, Writing, Reasoning, and Foreign Language (Polish and Cantanese will be the only languages offered for the foreseeable future) requirements will remain as is. The Diversity requirement however will be replaced with a new Accelerated Reading category.
Read MoreThis past September 11th, the IMA opened three new universal locker rooms attached to a 14-lane swimming pool. Huskies of all shapes and sizes were excited to finally use the new facilities after the long construction process, with the exception of one man, Hubert Spice. Normally a locker room enthusiast, Spice was furious with the new changing rules in the locker rooms.
Read MoreAs Thanksgiving looms closer and closer, so do the death dates of turkeys across the United States. Yet, every year one of the fortunate fowl is spared the grisly fate of its body being desecrated by a high school “Turkey Bowl game through the form of a presidential pardon.
Read MoreIn a statement released earlier today, the dean of the College of Arts & Sciences, Dianne Harris, announced a plan to restructure the philosophy program here at UW and add new requirements for graduation. The statement gives details about the new academic layout of the major and notes the addition of two 200-level classes to be offered in the spring, but one of the most notable entries is the addition of a required Greek-style oiled wrestling program.
Read MoreGreek life has been a longstanding pillar of UW’s campus experience: they provide a sense of community for students who have generational wealth and unlimited Zyn budgets, and they separate the cool kids from the geeds. Yet in recent years, Greek life all over the country has come under fire for abusive hazing rituals like consuming dangerous amounts of alcohol and even bodily harm. And now the beast of hazing is, once again, rearing its ugly head on the UW campus.
Read MoreWere you a shut-in loser freshman year? Did you somehow manage to not click with a single member of your highly personal FIG? Just an absolute fucking dweebus in general? Well, we have exciting news for you!
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